When I started doing this project I wanted to really sit back and map out everything that inspires me through my Internet searches and the memories that came forth from the times that I did them. From the work in progress critique it came to my attention thanks to all my peers and teacher that may be I was thinking too broad of an idea. I wanted to convey to the audience what emotion I was feeling through the searches and the content I gathered without really having to pull together a complete narrative. How would they get this feeling if I didn't guide it, well I was hoping that they would pull whatever popped out to them the most, but that could hinder the piece more so than enhancing it. The evolution of my project to the text piece and the alternate one came from looking back on old conversations I've had since 2004 relating to relationships, school, work, life away from home, and living on my own after leaving home at 16. I gathered up all my thoughts and to this day I am still utterly confused about a lot of events that happened but they are slowly unjumbling. For people close to me that has known my history one of the statements really rings true to them. The statement that I am talking about is "That Fucking Bitch" there is a lot loaded into that statement but it most definitely symbolizes a major turning point within myself.
Some of the strengths that I see in my piece is organization and the appeal to really make it clean and designed, but I think a lot is lost in showing how my process is precise and how it contributes to my OCD. A lot of people don't see what happens behind the scenes with the crap that I go through to just put something down on paper. It isn't the fact that it is extremely hard to come up with ideas but it is hard to let go of horrible ones and the constant rush of new ones that flood in. It is like a faucet that I can't turn off for even one second because I feel like if I do that then my whole world around me shatters into a million pieces. I love my disorganization and clutter at home because I can thrive in that world but on the outside amongst people I have a hard time containing everything. Structure most definitely in the form of linear narrative and storytelling can be a major area to focus on in improving, but I also feel like I am kind of burnt in that department due to strict rules being forced on me by the design department. I have so much pent up from that time that it is finally overflowing outward in multiple directions. I learned a lot about myself and some new techniques through doing this project and how to push forward. I am totally ready to take on new projects and techniques for this class. Bring it on!
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